


The Heart Wants What It Wants

by AnotherThing



Series: The Bed's Getting Cold [1]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hanjoo - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, xejoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3862561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherThing/pseuds/AnotherThing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been seven weeks since Hansol left, five weeks since he last contacted Byungjoo, and three weeks since Jiho started sleeping in Byungjoo’s bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart Wants What It Wants

 

 

 

 

Byungjoo doesn’t notice it at first, but the longer that Hansol is gone, the lonelier he starts to feel. The older boy had been sent back home to recover from treatment of a throat condition and it had been exactly three weeks now since his departure. He hadn’t heard anything from the other for almost a week now.

He bites his lip as he looks down at his phone. There are no unread text messages. He contemplates sending one to Hansol first, but thinks that maybe there is a legitimate reason that Hansol hasn’t contacted him. He quickly decides against sending anything and shoves the phone back into his front pocket.

 

He reassures himself that it’s not like what happened with Hyunho.

 

*****

 

Three days later, Jiho walks up to him and proclaims his intention to get Byungjoo to ‘stop being so goddamn depressed’. Byungjoo doesn’t really think he’s been acting anything of the sort but accepts Jiho’s company nonetheless.

 

He still hasn’t heard from Hansol.

 

The other dancer starts to accompany him everywhere he goes and Byungjoo finds himself spending more and more time alone with Jiho, away from the others. They frequent the practice room, even though they are in between promotions and have been given some down time. Jiho is good company and doesn’t mind it when Byungjoo decides to stay late, trying to tire himself out with dancing. The older boy hadn’t been able to sleep lately and he’d taken to burning off his energy with late nights at the practice room.

 

Sometimes they lose track of time though and this means that Sehyuk sends one of the maknaes to drag them out and back home. Jiho shrieks the first time Sangwon kicks the door open and grumpily tells them that Sehyuk wants them home. Byungjoo starts laughing uncontrollably as Jiho sulks and latches onto his arm, complaining loudly as he follows him out of the room. They pass by a slightly smirking Sangwon and Byungjoo smiles when Jiho threatens bodily harm against their youngest member.

 

*****

 

The night Byungjoo finally manages to fall asleep (and early, no less!), he wakes up in the middle of the night to find an intruder in his bed.

 

Byungjoo wakes up to another body pressed against his back and an arm wrapped around his waist. Startled to find himself trapped against a stranger’s chest, he immediately starts to squirm, grabbing the offending arm. He almost screams when the arm tightens in response to his touch, preventing him from escaping. His heart is beats frantically in his chest when he feels the person snuggle into the back of his neck and he almost gives in to the panic until he registers a familiar voice whispering into his ear.

“Bjoo-ya, go back to sleep,” Jiho’s sleepy voice mumbles against his ear. Byungjoo sucks in a breath of air as the other dancer tangles a leg between his own, creating full body-contact between them. The beating in his chest starts to slow down but as he realizes his situation again, it begins to thump rapidly once again.

 

The only other person he’d ever shared his bed with was Hansol.

 

A feeling of not-quite-sadness washes over him momentarily before he is distracted by Jiho’s soft snoring in his ear. He knows he should probably scold the younger for climbing into his bed uninvited, but the warmth from the other’s body pressed to his back is somewhat comforting at the moment.

He thinks maybe he has been lonely.

He closes his eyes and decides to quick contemplating over it, opting instead to just enjoy the warmth radiating off the body behind him.

 

*****

 

Byungjoo is fast asleep when Sehyuk comes into their room the next morning to wake them. Their leader gives Jiho an unimpressed look when he discovers that the boy is already awake but still wrapped around a still-sleeping Byungjoo. Jiho smiles back at him cheekily but hastily moves to get up when Sehyuk’s hand starts delivering harsh slaps to the back of his legs and thighs.

 

*****

 

Hojoon invites Byungjoo out to dinner one night, offering to pay for his meal. Byungjoo perks up at the mention of free food and instantly agrees. Jiho tries to invite himself along, but drops the subject when Hojoon sends him a glare behind Byungjoo’s back.

 

“Have you talked to Hansol lately?” Hojoon asks him as he stuffs more of the meat they’re eating into his mouth. Byungjoo swallows and reaches for his water, finishing it off before answering.

“He sent me a text maybe two weeks ago, but after that, I haven’t heard anything from him really.” He answers. He is momentarily distracted by a passing waiter who he ends up flagging down, thus missing the considering look Hojoon gives him. After making his request for another water, he turns back to his dinner mate and reaches for another piece of meat.

“Have you tried reaching out to him?” Hojoon asks suddenly, staring straight at him.

“No, he’s probably busy resting or something. I don’t want to disturb him,” Byungjoo says honestly. Hojoon nods his head. “Besides, lately I’ve been busy trying out some with new choreography with Jiho. I haven’t really had time to think about texting him.”

The waiter arrives with a new glass of water for Byungjoo, interrupting their conversation. The smaller boy thanks him and when he looks back at Hojoon, the other is still staring directly at him, only this time there is a slight frown on his face.

“What?” Byungjoo asks, ears beginning to tingle under the intensity of Holon’s gaze.

“You and Jiho have been hanging out a lot lately. I actually haven’t seen him really hang out with any of the others much, if at all.”

“Ah, is that so?” Byungjoo’s ears are growing warmer the longer Hojoon stares at him. He’s not sure why the other feels the need to keep direct eye-contact him. He also doesn’t know why they suddenly switched from talking about Hansol to talking about Jiho.

“It’s funny, I would have thought he’d be glued to Taeyang now that we’ve gotten a bit of free time. Those two were practically reaching Hansol and you levels of attachment before Jiho decided to become your shadow,” Hojoon comments nonchalantly. He stuffs more food into his mouth, eye never straying from the other.

 

Byungjoo doesn’t know how to respond to Hojoon’s statement so he keeps silent, opting to stuff his mouth with more food. Hojoon doesn’t say anything more, mercifully breaking eye contact with the other. They continue to eat their meal, moving onto other subjects besides Hansol or Jiho.

Byungjoo is really thankful when the waiter passes by again and Hojoon asks for their bill.

 

*****

 

After laying in his bed (Jiho-free for the night as the other boy had actually fallen asleep in his own bunk that night) thinking over Hojoon’s comment, Byungjoo decides to spend the next few days avoiding the practice room, inadvertently avoiding being alone with Jiho as well. He starts hanging out with the other members again, the other dancer at his side. The others members are happy to have them join them, and he feels somewhat guilty when he sees Taeyang light up as Jiho starts up a conversation with him.

He decides he made the right decision and looks away from the pair as he gets swept up into a conversation with Dongsung and Sangdo, the former throwing an arm comfortably around his shoulders in a friendly gesture. He smiles brightly at Byungjoo and waves his other arm around wildly; trying to prove the point he was trying to make to Sangdo while keeping his other arms around the small dancer.

Byungjoo smiles to himself before jumping into the conversation animatedly. Sangdo smiles at him and together they team up against Dongsung, who cries betrayal but doesn’t let go of Byungjoo.

Jiho looks past their oldest hyung and notes Dongsung’s arm around Byungjoo. His eyes flash with carefully concealed jealousy before he turns his attention back to Taeyang, never noticing Hojoon observing his behavior.

 

*****

 

Byungjoo manages to avoid spending time alone with Jiho for exactly for a couple more days before the other dancer corners him in the bathroom before bed.

 

Byungjoo had just finished showering and was currently rubbing his hair dry with his towel. Satisfied that he won’t be dripping all over the floor, he leans forwards toward the mirror in front of him to wipe the condensation off. He doesn’t hear the door open and when he wipes the mirror off just enough to look back at his own reflection and almost shrieks when he spots someone standing in back of him, leaning against the closed door.

“Jiho, you scared the shit out of me,” he says, laughing slightly as he turns to face the other dancer. Jiho stares at him, a frown etched on his face. Byungjoo tilts his head and looks at him curiously.

“Jiho?” He asks, unsure what to make at the other’s silence.

Before he realizes what is happening, he finds himself backed into the hard edge of the sink. Byungjoo’s hands come up to press against the other dancer’s chest as he finds himself trapped. Jiho’s hands grip his upper arms (almost too tightly), holding him in place.

 

“Jiho, what are you—”

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asks, staring into Byungjoo’s eyes. The older boy blinks in surprise.

“I'm not avoid—”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Jiho says, cutting him off. Byungjoo shut s his mouth in surprise at the emotion in the other boy’s voice and glance up at the other. Jiho looks into his eyes and the sadness in them makes something in Byungjoo’s feels something in his gut tighten. He bites the inside of his bottom lip before he responds.

“I’m really not trying to avoid you.” He says quietly, looking down at his hands pressed against Jiho’s chest. He moves one upwards, superstitiously rubbing his hand against the other boy’s chest to ease the tension. The action seems to calm Jiho’s nerves slightly and he lets go of Byungjoo’s arms, backing off somewhat so that he isn’t so much pressing the other into their bathroom sink. He doesn’t move enough to get him out of Byungjoo’s personal space though.

 

“Then why did you stop inviting me to practice with you? Why did you tell me to sleep in my own bed?”

 

Byungjoo sucks in a breath as he recalls telling Jiho that it was getting too hot lately to be sharing a bed and had suggested that the other go back to sleeping in his own. That part there might have been his own feelings coming into play. He still wasn’t used to anyone other than Hansol clinging to his back while he slept and despite the comfort it had brought the first time it had happened, he was a bit unsure of continuing to allow Jiho share his warmth with him

.

He avoids answering the question about their sleeping arrangement and instead focuses on the first.

“I didn’t want you to skip spending time with the other’s just to spend time your time off cooped up in the practice room with me.” He answers, letting his hands fall away from the younger boy’s chest, turning away to face the mirror again. He leans forward to place his hands against the sink but sucks in a breath when he feels the other embrace him from behind. Jiho’s arms wrap around his waist, body coming forward to fully press himself against Byungjoo.

He leans his head forward, resting it against the Byungjoo’s shoulder and whispers into his ear. “But I like spending time with you hyung.” He presses a small kiss against the skin underneath him and feels (more than sees) the older boy shiver at his actions.

“I don’t want to keep you from Taeyang and the others,” Byungjoo reiterates, swallowing nervously. Recognition flickers through Jiho’s eyes at the statement but he squeezes the smaller boy once more.

“I don’t mind skipping the practice room, as long as you don’t mind sharing your bed again with me hyung. The top bunk is cooler, after all.”

Byungjoo smiles nervously but acquiesces to the younger’s request, remembering the previous sad eyes Jiho had shot at him earlier in during their talk. They stand together, enjoying a moment of silence until there is a banging at the door. Jiho huffs his displeasure and Byungjoo laughs as he grabs his towel off of the floor where it had fallen earlier. When they emerge from the bathroom together, Sanggyun gives them a wide-eyed look before he mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like ‘they better not have done anything gross in there’ as he scurries into the bathroom. Byungjoo snorts and Jiho makes a comment about bratty maknaes before they head together to the elder’s bunk.

 

*****

 

Jiho starts sleeping in Byungjoo’s bed again and for a while everything is fine. They spend less time in the practice room and more time with the others. Jiho makes it a point to speak frequently with the other members so as to avoid any more issues that could lead Byungjoo to the impression that he was monopolizing the other’s time. The other members find themselves slowly becoming aware of the slightly possessive nature that Jiho’s gestures start to take on when it comes to Byungjoo. A casual arm draped over Byungjoo’s shoulders; a hand on the small of his back. He even takes to casually leaving his hand the other’s thigh when the other dancer is sitting down speaking with them. Byungjoo himself doesn’t seem to realize the increased amount of skinship between them. The members don’t comment on the new behavior but Hojoon makes sure to glare menacingly at Jiho the first time he pulls Byungjoo into his lap.

 

*****

 

The group decides to have a home movie night together and everyone is gathering in the living room. Byungjoo has just returned from the convenience store with Yoonchul and Hojoon, who accompanied him. Jiho calls him over and after Byungjoo places the snacks on top of their coffee table, he finds himself yanked backwards onto the other boy’s lap.

The maknaes snicker at him (along with Taeyang) and he feels himself flush with embarrassment.

When he tries to stand up to move to a different seat, Jiho whines at him. He glances around and (unfortunately for him) notices that the other members have taken up all the available seats (including the ever valuable floor space). He sighs and sits back down on Jiho’s lap, missing the way Hojoon glares at Jiho.

Hojoon spends a majority of the movie texting someone until Sehyuk snaps at him to put his phone away.

 

*****

 

It’s been seven weeks since Hansol left. That morning, as per what has become routine, Byungjoo wakes up to a body pressed against his back. The hand wandering underneath his shirt is a bit of a change though.

“Jiho stop,” he murmurs sleepily, pressing his face further into the pillow.

The body behind him freezes and the hand quickly withdraws. Byungjoo doesn’t stir again as his bedmate moves away and out of his bunk.

 

*****

 

When he finally wakes up, he finds himself surprisingly alone. Curious as to where Jiho might be, he rouses himself out of bed and gets dressed for the day. On the way to the kitchen, he spots a familiar face sitting on the couch talking to Hojoon. Byungjoo’s breath quickens as a pair of piercing eyes stares at his frozen form.

 

“Byungjoo,” the other greets him, a crooked smile adorning his face.

 

*****

 

 

Seven weeks after he left, five weeks after he stopped contacting Byungjoo, and three weeks after Jiho started sleeping in Byungjoo’s bed, Hansol comes back.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> first topp dogg fic ever & it came out to 8pgs/2,638words. sorry if anyone seems totally OOC. i tried and that's what's important lol.
> 
> please notify me if you spot any glaring mistakes or typos.
> 
>  
> 
> [[insert standard disclaimer here]]


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